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The Wonder of Being Jeneane Garafalo

August 23, 2009

The indefatigable and seemingly unflappable Jeneane Garafalo is at it again!

Garafalo (pictured below) is well known for her virulent, irrational hatred of conservatives and her odd, disjointed “teabagger” rants.

Garafalo just can't shake that "no so fresh" feeling, or her dangerously low I.Q.

Garafalo just can't shake that "no so fresh" feeling, or her dangerously low I.Q.

Garafalo waxed expansive once again at the 9:30 Club in Washington, D.C. yesterday on her “dissenters are mentally ill” theory:

“The functionally retarded adults, the racists – with their cries of, ‘I want my country back,'” she said. “You know what they’re really saying is, ‘I want my white guy back.’ They apparently had no problem at all for the last eight years of habeas corpus being suspended, the Constitution being [expletive] on, illegal surveillance, lied to on a war or two, two stolen elections – yes, the John Kerry one was stolen too. That’s not tin-foil hat time. That’s just…”

So apparently, if you disagree with President Obama, you can’t be anything other than retarded, racist, or both.  Being black doesn’t immunize one either from charges of racism and mental retardation, as Garafalo deftly explains that they suffer from “Stockholm Syndrome”.

Far be it for me to argue someone who looks like she must smell like the door off of a garbage truck, is adorned with tattoos that look like they were administered by a stoned toddler, and, quite frankly, looks like she’d be sticky to the touch, but… what?

Not surprisingly, Garafalo’s viewpoint closely mirrors that of–you guessed it–Stalinists!  The former Soviet empire treated dissent precisely the same way.  If you disagreed with the state, you must be either physically or psychologically deficient.  If you were found to be either, you earned yourself a trip to the gulag, which is where I’m sure she’d like to send us–if they were still up and running.  In contradistinction, conservatives would like nothing more than to send her to a detox clinic and then a nice warm shower, to be followed by a tattoo removal expert so that the next drunk preschooler could have a clean slate to work with.

Garafalo the true bigot here, and a contemptible dunce to boot.  Thankfully, nobody seems to find her funny anymore.

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